"Never before have I ever been stopped like a rabbit in headlights and forced to accept what you say as gospel."

- JOSEPH GORTON, 25. UNITED KINGDOM.


How Not To Propose To A Woman.

#UncleToddTuesday - blog 80

The night would be ruined, he told the restaurant manager. He was going to do it on the patio. It was raining. Where was he supposed to go? In the bar? Were all of his friends who were on their way supposed to watch him propose to his girlfriend in the bar? The patio was far more romantic. A guy only gets to do this once – forever. What was he supposed to do?

The guy had arrived with his family from out of town. His bride-to-be was at the table. Whenever she would leave, they would discuss the looming crisis. His perfect plan to propose to his girlfriend – in front of his friends – had been dashed. They rallied to come up with a Plan B. They had chosen this place because it had the most romantic venue under the stars. What would compare? Could they save this special moment in time from becoming ruined forever? It's tacky enough to propose marriage in a restaurant. But to not have a concrete plan?

In a previous blog post, I wrote about the etiquette American women lack when they’re proposed to. The proposal puts the spotlight on the man; he plans, he executes, he asks. The wedding (at least the spectacle portion of it) puts the spotlight on her. But Mansy needs to understand that establishing rhythm is everything. Rhythm and timing are the two most overlooked and underrated things in modern life. Sure, it's not how you start it's how you finish, as the saying goes. But you must start in the right way. The incapacity to understand this is detrimental to you, her, and the relationship.

They were both way too young to get married. On American Mansy Podcast, we talk about this often - with how you should never get married before thirty, and how not to be a graduate of Douchebag University. Regardless, the night was supposed to be perfect - sun, patio, friends, romance, love, and the happily-ever-after. It wasn't. Mansy was in a panic. You would have thought his life was over. Bad taste aside; a Plan B should have been in place. It was clear that none of the older folks present had mentored this young man on how to plan for such a situation. This, actually, is a graver concern: Has yet another young Mansy escaped into the wild?

Gentlemen: In relationships, you must start the conversation. You must take charge of situations. You must handle crisis. You must always have a contingency plan. And when it comes to the choice of spending the rest of your life with somebody – known as old school marriage, everybody – you must start it properly. Fumble now, you will fumble later. No matter what came beforehand, no matter what you’ve seen in a sitcom on television, no matter what dimwitted article you read in Men’s Health magazine about how to propose to a woman, understand this: It matters.

Intention and preparation are everything. Depending upon your personality, a marriage proposal can be subtle or over-the-top. But the preparation of it - of anything - is the measure of a man.

Follow @Todd_Behrend on Twitter