#MassholeMonday - blog 66
There’s new trend of Mansy that’s rapidly growing in the United States – Old Man Mansy. Not only is it Mansy, but it’s creepy. I have watched this phenomenon come to life over the last few years. Maybe porn has rotted their brains or something. But there’s nothing creepier than an old man hitting on an unresponsive young woman. Their 1960s charm is long gone and has been replaced by thoughts of being that old man who can still bring in the young hot girls. They use their age to try an act like asses and then play it off like, “I’m just an old man having fun.” Mansy comes in all different shapes and sizes. But the one thing that all Mansy has in common is that old Mansy and young Mansy the more money they have, the more their Mansy shines through. It’s hard to get them to understand that they are not being cool, and the uncomfortable young woman thinks that he is making a fool of himself.
Old Man Mansy is everywhere. About two years ago, me and my boys from Big Rhody went down to Naples, Florida for a weekend. I know what you’re thinking – Naples? But being over thirty-five it’s one of the only places in the world where you can go and almost find no trouble. Unless you’re us.
One night at a bar called Handsome Harry’s, my friends and I were having a great old time. A group of women approached us and asked us if they could hang out with us because a group of older men were hitting on them and creeping them out. We said sure, and started having a great time with them. I began to see the male cast of Cocoon take notice that these women were now hanging out and having a lot of fun with us: The Masshole, Class, The Mummy, The Shark, and The Dentist. They were pointing their fingers and getting angry. Before I could say anything, The Dentist was making his way to the bathroom. Keeping a close eye on him and the situation, I saw him emerge from the bathroom with a perturbed look on his face. Catching him at the door, he told me that some old man just gave him a shoulder in the bathroom. The Dentist, always ready for a fight, was ready to go before Class and myself took him outside the situation. But when we returned, the group returned, and they were drunk and looking for a fight. The women got in the middle of it and pretty much told them that they were a bunch of creepy old men and were really bothering them. The AARP group started yelling at them saying, “You’ve never had guys like us before!” and how they were ready for a fight with us. Not wanting to beat up the Pepperidge Farm guys, we let them go.
Fast forward to two nights ago. Sitting in a bar in Chi-town, I watched a group of older rich guys trying to pick up a bartender. When she refused their advances, they let her know what a giant mistake she made. Yes; old balls down to their knees. For the next two hours, I watched them check out girls’ asses and berate any girl who walked in the door. What I don’t think they understand is that no girl wants to be hit on by her grandfather. It’s not hot. Porn lies. They are fictitious movies. They are not real; you are not in Vegas. If these women are not buying it, you are not getting it.
Old Man Mansy is just as big of a problem as Young Mansy. The only difference is that Young Mansy doesn’t have the balls to approach a woman when they are capable, and Old Man Mansy doesn’t know when to stop. He thinks that being old gives him some type of golden ticket to be a walking hard-on. They are the creepiest group of Mansy walking the earth. It just goes to show you that Mansy comes in all shapes and sizes.
- Dave ‘The Masshole’ Friedrich